Being Indian and Dating

Hi folks! Thanks for tuning in to read my blog today! I wanted to kind of rant and just talk about the day in the life of a Punjabi girl dating. From when I was little to about 25 years old my parents told me not to date. They say they don't trust guys and they could do things to me that they thought I had no knowledge about. Yes, they meant sex. Yes, they meant a guy could impregnate me. Yes, they meant I could get STD's. Fast forward to the age of 25 (I am now 28) my parents told me to find a guy so I could marry him. Yes, MARRY.... not date BUT MARRY! Now, I was born and raised in the United States. I grew up having crushes on gorey munde. Another thing is we are learning a lot about people having love marriages and finding love and that's all I ever wanted.

Do not get me wrong, though. My mom and dad had an arranged marriage, my brother had an arranged marriage and its going fine for them, but what is wrong with girls wanting to find the love of their life and getting married to them? Aside from marriage I never understood why it was "bad" in my parents eyes for having a boyfriend. It always made me think that my parents don't trust me and they always said we don't trust guys. I never in my years growing up had a boyfriend because my parents put it in my head that I should or else this would happen. I was however close to having a boyfriend in middle-school. I had a crush on a guy in my classes and one day he was going to tell me he liked me but that kind of back fired but I'm ok with it cause in the end of the day I was better off without him.

Being Indian and dating is such a taboo subject even living in the US. We well me I grew up thinking I'll find love. I'll settle down, have my own house, a couple of babies and live life (not so easy but in way that just made sense). Now all I hear everyday from my parents, sis in law, and other extended family is "when are you getting married?" When I friggin find someone I want to spend my life with. The pressure of it all is real. I am 28 and my family thinks that's too old and then tell me I'm only going to find someone that's been divorced. I also get told that guys don't like curvy woman you need to lose weight in order for them to like you. I CALL BULLSHIT! In my recent years of "dating" guys that just want the skinny woman or have such narrow mindset are not the guys I will or am going to associate with. I was learned that guys in fact LOVE curves, OK!

I want to talk to a guy, date him, get to know him and what his family is like, but my family just wants me to say yes to marriage right off the bat and that's just not how it's going to work with me. I will find someone that suits me by doing the process like I want it. I am allowed to have standards and know my worth instead of compromising like my family keeps hinting I do. I know my worth. I will not be pressured to do something or be with someone just because I'm not the traditional age that a girl is supposed to get married at.

I hope you all enjoyed reading. I will definitely have updates in future posts!

xoxo,

Harp